Shade

Author : ShadeWolfenHunter

Date sent : February 13, 2011

Rating : G (Everyone)

Category : Epic

Description : When Rebecca is attacked on dark and stormy night, a not so liekly hero comes to her aid, only to bring up emotions that she had for Kit

Length : Average -

Characters :
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                  G (Everyone)
Shade
By ShadeWolfenHunter

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This fanfic was rated G (Everyone).


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March 28, 2013
Usa Is not currently on the site
No offense intended; but I'm not gonna lie, this story needs some work. But before I go any farther; a brief note to the author: Since your last fanfiction was posted barely more than a year ago I have no idea if you're still active, however, if you are; please bear in mind I'm not attempting to troll you or rage at you, I'm just offering up some constructive criticism. And here it is: Overall, your spelling, capitalization and grammar DO need work. You should probably run the story through spellcheck (if you have Microsoft Word), or just make sure any future scenes are grammatically correct. I guess everyone seems fairly in-character, but the subplots about Karnage, Torque and Trader Moe all feel unrelated and just tossed in randomly. Try developing the story into interconnecting strands more if and when you return and see if that helps any. And finally.... To be honest, my biggest problem with your story is the main character; Shade. It's evident you have other stories featuring him and while I haven't read them as of yet, I plan to do so at some point. However, Shade just feels very underdeveloped to me. What's his story? What are all his little flaws and quirks? If you do these things, trust me, you're gonna have a great character. HOWEVER: No matter how attached to your main character you may get, PLEASE refrain from making them a 'perfect' individual. That's not how real life works; and stories shouldn't work that way either.

August 29, 2011
Webmaster France Male Is not currently on the site
AS leader
I had read that one previously, though didn't leave a comment yet.
Great job,your character Shade is very original and I can't wait to read what's next!




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