when ed and eduardo meets itchy and charlie

Author : edd

Date sent : November 11, 2011

Rating : PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned)

Description : this is how they meet

Length : Very short -

Characters :
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                  PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned)
when ed and eduardo meets itchy and charlie
By edd

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This fanfic was rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned).


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February 04, 2012
Usa Male Is not currently on the site
BlueMoonsoon&Unalaq Omega
Okay, break down time since I now have the time.
1. There are no paragraphs, it's just one big text wall mess that hurts my eyes to read.
2. No capitalization to tell when it's the start of a sentence or a character name.
3. Spelling... It just needs work...
4. No punctuation whatsoever. Add it. A LOT of it.

Work at it. This needs a complete overhaul to even be called written language. A text wall with everything mingling together is not even close to a fan fic. Also, lose the swearing, and don't try to say the bleeped out words isn't swearing, because if it has to be bleeped it is. This is advice not only to this fic, but to every one you've written and probably will write.

November 16, 2011
Usa Male Is not currently on the site
great story.

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